A World Full of Love – by Natalie Stork

Here I am with this irritating sickness, which makes my throat bloat as if it has just been pumped up with air as a result forcing me to stay in my room, in case my two brothers and my sweet one and a half year old sister might catch it. Feeling quite miserable and annoyed wondering how I caught it my self, I fall into deep thoughts about how my life would become, what it would be like to be a mother, or maybe how my grandchildren and my great grand children might remember me as. Its funny at times, I am barely 18 years old and to think about things so far fetched ‘don’t be so dreamy!’ I would scold my self, blaming myself for dreaming so wildly! But then again I argue ‘these are not just dreams! They are what I build my life on!’ they are what my next step is based on, the reason I decide to go on and live!

My wildest dreams may spring from the simplest incidents, will they ever come predicted I wander! In my own view I live in two different worlds, one in which I truly am and the other I build for myself in my mind. This may sound like fiction for some but for me it is as real as being able to touch and feel. I have made it a habit to build on my dreams whenever I had time that they even blossomed to life in front of my dreamy eyes. I would play with the characters that I love so much, I would name them, I would give them faces and I always make sure they have smiles on them most of the time. Such lovely are my dreams that no fairy tale can ever take their place. My favorite character ‘my son’ yes! I dream about my future son! It is true that he is neither born yet nor conceived but yet I love him with all my heart and he seems so real to me. I know how he would look like because I see him in my boyfriend’s eyes. Those eyes that look into mine so mischievously that when I gaze at them long enough it would seem as if they were a child’s. This and the sweet photograph of his childhood and my wild imagination had brought to life my son; the person I love more than anything in this world and to think that he’s not in this world yet makes me try to justify how much I love him.

They say that a mother’s love is so precious and so indefinable and so pure that nothing that you can pay her back with. As a young and inexperienced teenager as I am , if I’m experiencing such love towards a treasured dream then a mothers love must mean so much more so much better and deeper  than how they explain. Words cannot describe love! Who could ever describe the feeling one gets when you receive the love and the tender touch of the one person you loved when you needed it the most, or who can describe the feeling when as a child you found out that your mother was sitting at your bedside all night while you were fighting that terrible fever. Most of all, which woman could explain how she felt, when her first-born child sucked at her nipple for the first time? Love is what the world has been built on! Without it, you and I will be no more.

I firmly believe in love, I believe that without love nothing can exist. I believe that its love makes each day as it is. I believe its love that makes each day as it is. I believe its love that makes each person who or she is. This is the very reason that I dream. I dream about my son so that I can prepare myself to be the mother he would need, to be able to give him the love that he needs to grow up to be a human being full of love so that someday he may dream, dream just as his mother did. That in his own little way, he could spread a little love, in order to make this world a better place. For at least in his wildest dreams he could put a smile on someone’s face.

I have heard people say that they have no time to dream, no time to think. I think to myself how sad it is that they do not know the joy I posses by sparing a little time to dream! I don’t think that even if I possessed all the wealth in the world it would make me as rich as I feel when I let my mind wander off. In my dreamy world, I have a future full of happiness surrounded with people I love and cherish. I simply see this picture of a house that overflows not with wealth but with love, it shines like a beam of light in the darkness and in it, I see myself, my husband and in our arms the sweetest child that I’ve ever known. The child that reflects a world full of love in his eyes. This alone will make me the richest human being on earth.

Written in 2004 All Rights Reserved 2005